Wednesday, August 03, 2005

One quasi-literal definition I once read for the cowboy is "a man with guts and a hoss." Cattle ought to be involved somehow, too. That definition would end my goose chase, though. I'm in search of something much more ethereal. I want to know what the cowboy's spirit is supposed to look like in August of 2005.

Maybe it's Matthew McConaughey. He just signed on as main model for Stetson cologne.

According to a Zap2it article, "the modern cowboy qualities that Stetson embodies are rugged masculinity, originality, independence, western heritage and genuine American values." They continue, "Certainly McConaughey's naked bongo-playing incident in October 1999 demonstrates a certain amount of originality, independence from clothing and the American value of expressing oneself freely."

Anyone?

As for George W.-- he doesn't make the traditional list. Gene Autry's cowboy code disappoves of "shooting first." It's the number one sin on his list, in fact. Bonnie Wheeler, a medieval studies professor in Dallas, uses Autry's list to make some points of her own. She claims that our idea of what makes a cowboy a cowboy descends directly from the Arthurian chivalric code. "Our president," she says, "is neither a knight nor a cowboy. He doesn't believe in taking care of the little guy, nor does he have the restraint or dignity of the cowboy."

Enough Bush bashing. I'm no cowboy either. I know that.

I try to be a cowboy, but I think I'm too devious for my own good. I'd rather make love or sleep in than dash about like the Lone Ranger rescuing people. Being a true cowboy hero is a thankless job.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally random comment my mom used to tell me that you could always tell a real cowboy on how well he could two step and how nice his ass looked in his wranglers.

Chris Sand said...

Then I'm definitely no cowboy. I can't two-step; I have bowed out bird legs and no butt; and I wear $10 baggy Rustlers instead of Wranglers.

Anonymous said...

smear feces on people's mirrors and door handles............how sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris Sand said...

metaphorically speaking, that is.

Chris Sand said...

ah piff, i decided to delete the feces part because new readers who don't know about the Sand Pan myth might not understand the poetry...