Monday, May 02, 2005

I love Jay Leno and his nightly show. Jay's good. Tonight Wanda Sykes was on there. I like Wanda, too. At the end of the show Conor Oberst aka Bright Eyes sang a protest song basically calling the President a jack ass. He wore red cowboy clothes and a black cowboy hat. Just him, and his clothes, and a guitar. Leno compared him to Bob.

I am the man of constant envy.

Conor is 24, sells a lot of records, and gets good reviews in Rolling Stone.

I want to tell him, "I'm the rappin' cowboy, dude. Can you thrust your pelvis like this? Can you curate a museum in a town with the population of the moon? Can you make love to thin air with nothing but formaldehyde and a broken cattle prod? Can you remember Pong vs. Billy Beer?

Oh, I wish I was Conor Oberst. Then Wanda Sykes would see me for who I am.

Envy. Not sorrow, not pride, not anger, not greed, not sloth, not meth. But envy, envy, envy...


Anonymous said...

you blew it, sandman!
jay leno!?!?
you MUST be kidding.
i usually (always, i think) respect your opinions, influences, and whatnots...smooth mindless contemporary R&B, randy travis, etc.--i could always bend my mind around those after some second-thoughts. as in, "really?! hmm. well...maybe so."

But Jay Leno--never!
i've publicly stated my extreme dislike of the man.
i find nothing redeeming in him whatsoever.
i don't usually have these strong negative feelings about anyone...famous or not.
but Jay Leno...i abhore him.
he is bad for the entire planet.

we're gonna have to have a serious discussion about this around the campfire. for real.

my dislike and disgust (of, and toward) this guy is so pure...that i almost don't want to hear one tiny thing that puts him in a less negative light. if he once saved a kitty from a tree, i don't want to know.

but i guess if anyone--you included, chris--wants to defend him...i will listen. though i'd rather know who else shares my venomous thoughts on jay.

sorry to spew so much on this non-issue.


Chris Sand said...

Jay might be spineless, but he's got the "common touch" in my opinion.

I like Oprah, too.

Anonymous said...

24hrs later, and i still don't like a thing about Leno.
i will, however, reply to the bright eyes comment:
i was hanging out with jack norton tonight at this ukulele concert and film in of the first things he mentioned was "did you see conor on conan? was amazing, spinetingling etc...and he look just like SANDMAN!" (he taped it, btw)
so my hatred of leno + your envy of conor =
a funny little entanglement full of negativity
that really just amounts to a ________(fill in blank).

happy st.padre's day?

Anonymous said...

hill of beans.

Chris Sand said...

Is envy really that negative? It's my way of saying, "you are successful! (wish I was, too)."

Likewise, maybe you, too, are slyly giving Leno a compliment. You're saying, "your humanity confuses me! (but I think about you often)."