Friday, July 30, 2004

Today was another busy one. I silk-screened about ninety pillow cases and ran a lot of errands. When I came home I was so hungry, and to my happy surprise my housemate Ann had cooked a dinner for many of her friends. She invited me to join, too. Ann, who is Japanese, cooked somen (wheat noodles w/ ice), shitake, eel, seaweed, egg, and shiso (Japanese basil). Her friend, Charmeela, who is Indian-American, made a stirfry w/ cumin and cayenne to name a few of the spices. Ann also invited my good friend Yuko, who's Japanese, as well. Ann and Yuko let us know that we should slurp the noodles loudly, which I did. We ate outside on our porch until the mosquitoes chased us back inside. It's been a good year for mosquitoes, blackberries, and walnuts. Ann's moving to Boston in two weeks; that's sad. But, that's why I tour all the time! I have two shows in Boston in October. The whole USA and Canada are becoming my backyard. Within five years I want to have friends around the world to visit.

It's a good life I live. But why am I filled with such self-loathing most of the time? My favorite thing to say to myself is, "You're a f*%#ing idiot." I say it about twenty times daily as a sort of anti self-affirmation-- an unnecessary mantra-- a flagellation of the soul. I don't enjoy this habit.

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