Today has been filled with frustrations which started yesterday. I have a lot of work to do which involves a computer and it has taken a full day to secure one. Even now I'm without a printer which I also need, and I'm sitting on the floor of Goose's apartment with a sore back. But beggars ought not to complain, as they say. Catching up with Goose has been good as he just returned from a few weeks in Bogota, Colombia. He shaved his head and it suits him. For all out there who remember my muttonchops, they too, have been sheared. I'm now just a normal, clean-cut, 32-yr-old, starving artist without a girlfriend or recording contract which seems less romantic than the handsome, mustachioed, age-ambiguous rappin' cowboy of yestermonth.
My mom used to say this phrase in reference to my dad: "Cowboy, thy name is vanity". I must admit it, though, I'm older today than I was, say, last February. Also, slightly depressed for some reason. I made up a song yesterday about heartbreak, and such, but there's nothin' new, there, except that in this song my request is for the lover to "break me open to the moon and stars/ to the Big Sky and the Silver Dollar bars/ to the beautiful women, and men who play guitars/ and to the whole world, baby, hit me harder..." In other words, I want her to break my heart so that I might feel something/ free something.
Is this masochism or an advanced emotional response to a looming, painful abandonment restimulation experience? Feel me? (insert smily face ; ).
...I'm unsure.
I think I want to leave Olympia.
Tomorrow I actually do leave, for Montana, for a couple weeks to help my mom move to the prairies of North Dakota from her Charlo, Montana casita. I'll also watch my cousin, Bekah, get married later in the week. On the 4th of July, or thereabouts, I'll perform in Charlo's all-school reunion. On July 9th, I'll return West via Spokane where I'll play a show with Little Wings and Bobby Birdman. Now I must find some food to devour.
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