Sandman's Journal

For two years I've kept a secret regarding an obscure yet breathtaking website that contains vital documents relating to my career as an undercover astronaut. It even reveals a letter from the President of the United States warning me not to take a certain mission to explore a certain black hole. It was a mission I chose to take, and, indeed, I have since suffered the inevitable consequences of remote-controlled striptease dream torture by government-sponsored robot nurse clones.

It was the journey I took with Mixmaster Timezone Lafontaine in late February of 2005, to explore and penetrate a star that had became so dense with gravity that nothing, not even light, could escape it.

(Note: We'd been near it once, in 1984, but did not have the courage to enter.)

Scientists warned us to abort the 2005 mission, but we went anyway. And we survived. Barely.

We documented our odyssey, word for word and beat for beat, on a compact disc titled: (return to) . . . the blackhole (of outerspace). On said compact disc, there is a hidden message that no one has yet deciphered. We have given cryptic clues, but the code has remained uncorked, uncracked, and uncrunked.

That is, until tomorrow.
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