Build a Better Bush.

Grandma's doin' better. I hung out with her all afternoon. She's a little delirious, still-- she insisted that she saw a concert of mine on cable last night. Maybe she's got me confused with Kanye West or something. That's cool.

I'm trying to get a job maintaining trails when I return to Olympia. Thus, I've been digging up pertinent job info to put on a resume, such as...

Fire Suppression: Malheur Helitack Rappel Crew.

Carpenter: Sunrise Construction.

Outdoor Guide: University of Montana.

This is boring to do.

I stayed overnight with my grandma Sunday night and awoke to her coughing and choking on blood. Her white sheets and pillows were drenched, and she seemed to be slightly delusional. I called my mom and we got her to the emergency room (via ambulance). For the next twelve hours she continuously spit up large mouthfuls of coagulated blood-- it made me really woozy. Fortunately, she's recovering now at the intensive care ward in Missoula. I'll drive down there tomorrow to see her. The doctors think that somehow the Parkinson's Disease pills she's been on for the last couple of weeks have wreaked havoc on her fragile system. Poor little, tough Grandma.

I'm in Montana now. Left Olympia yesterday at 4 p.m. and drove ten hours here. This afternoon I spent time with Grandma and massaged her feet and legs. She just moved into an assisted living center and I can tell that she's scared she might be on the verge of death or something. I think she's just a little ill from some bad drugs she took recently. She needs a physical therapist, though, to help get her body working properly again. I'll try to rub her feet and legs every day this week and encourage her to drink lots of water.

I drove her to the Charlo Viking High School Varsity game at 7:30-- she was dizzy but managed to hang in there until the end of the game, which happened to be an exciting one! Bo, my first cousin, is the team's quarterback, and he threw two touchdowns and ran for a third. They beat Noxon 20-14. Jake, Bo's younger brother, also made an appearance. He's a freshman, though, so he only gets a few minutes.

I'm staying at my friends', Tom and Karin's, house tonight. Karin and I were ruminating on the bewildering ill-mysticism of Dubya and the Neocons. This nation is being hypnotized by something. What, what, what we ask... Perhaps fear-- that tragic unmagic anti-aphrodesiac? Perhaps psychic exhaustion from killjoy occupations? The debts we incrue and the stresses that ensue? Guilt from centuries of racist rationalizations? Unacknowledged antisemitism? Internalized loathing? Unexamined inferiority complexes? The preference of the quick-fix (pills, scapegoats, murder) over counseling/meditation/flower essences? Television without vision? Clogged arteries, chakras, airwaves? Ingrained imperialism? Time-released amnesia? Christianity minus the mulleted Jew who liked to raise hell with arrogant Empire Makers? I mean, wtf?

Who are these fugly architects of war? These wizardly channel-changers? These cowardly corporate clowns? These maniacal, suburban bloggaholics?

...they are you and I, of course, and we're as much to blame as the sheistiest hypocrite hypnotist in Washington if we don't figure something out soon, soon, soon--

and do it with joy, joy, joy--

and make it last, last, last--

and remember, remember, remember--

that life is cool, cool, cool--

and so are wee, wee, wee!

...All the way home.

(On the count of "three" you will climb out of your sleeping bag and march to the local convenience store for coffee and a banana.)

The new cd has arrived! "Joe" and I drove down to Portland to pick 'em up-- hot off the press-- little plastic biscuits of rhythm and melody.

Yes, Sandman Live and Suspicious! has arrived and is available for purchase. Already, a Chicago label, who Andras gave a pre-copy to, has shown interest in re-releasing it come January. I can't call this a "bidding war" yet, because they're the first financially stable label to get one, but it's a comforting sign that this cd has legs.
--------------------------
I just wrote this poem. I call it...

Gift Horse

Walk on, little soldiers; march forth into the battleground of sound. Raise your thousand soul-axes. March forward. Fight hard, little John Kerrys and Theresa Heinzes. Shoot straight.

Fear not, slender Davids. Goliath is a fake, and an Outlaw!! Slay him with your sharpened pens, your heavy rhymes, your pounding couplets. Dig trenches and dump in them the remains of all regrets, half-steps, and vain sensitivities.

Bite the head off of the Sidewinder and make drool of its dreary oil. Spit it out and pack mud into its broken mouth. Heal it. Piss on your cracked feet. Walk a mile, barefoot, on burnt turf. Bow to Ichiro Suzuki, Barry Bonds, Michael Moore, Molly Ivins-- and return to me with frizzled hair and sunburnt brow.

Sleep with the lover you love. Make love; be love; see love; seek love; freak love. Keep walking, love. And don't ever forget to thank love. Its teeth are long, strong, green, and powerful. Like a horse from God (fierce and kindly). Without reins, without bridle, and without bit.

I leave Olympia in two days. I'd better make some more pillow cases.

And by the way, 319 JOE (my car) made it all the way up to Canada and back without the clutch destructing. Thanks again, Joe. If I make some money on this next tour I'll treat you real nice and get you a new one.

Greetings from British Columbia. Sydney and I spent the day in Vancouver-- China Town mostly. I bought lots of different kinds of candy. Chinese sweets are way different than the American kind. They're more fruity; no chocolate. Sydney bought a dried iguana on a stick and some bottles of ginseng/royal jelly, and some tea. We ran into Giles O'Dell, and Cindy and Sarah (of Scream Club) on Commercial Avenue when we were searching for a good Ethiopian restaurant. They were returning to Olympia, after playing three shows in three days.

Now Syd and I are back at her half-brother's place in Langley. We'll amble back to my beloved, tragic USA tomorrow.

I could crush a Hummer with one of these.

Happy Rosh Hashanah!! (The Jewish New Year).

I dug dirt, operated a jackhammer, and ran a chainsaw, today, for seven hours. Tomorrow will be my last day at that jobsite, since we're almost done. Then I'll drive to Canada for an evening or two with Sydney, return, and prepare for my ten-week journey to Montana, North Dakota, the East Coast, the South, the Midwest, and then North Dakota, and finally Montana again. I'll move back to Olympia in late November and search for another job and prepare for another tour.

My back's gettin' strong. Feels good. After trenchin' for the first half of the day I went to Johnny's and helped shovel goat manure. He's building a big compost oven. There might not be anymore work for me until Saturday.

Tonight I'm having dinner with Sydney and her girls.

As I mentioned before, I left my cell phone charger on San Juan Island. Instead of worrying about it and waiting to get it mailed to me, I went to the mall last night and picked up a new, fancy flip-top celly. I'd just fulfilled my two-year obligation to Verizon which meant I got a free, new one. It's sleek, sexy, and silver. My old one was bulky and grey.

Today was a good day. I dug many square yards of dirt and had good conversations with fellow laborers. We tore out two stumps. It hardly rained at all. And I found a nice package in the mail when I got home.

This package contains fifty compilation cds from the "Musicians to Oust Bush" project. I may have mentioned this before but Utah Phillips, Greg Brown, Andras Jones, Stephan Smith, and myself all have song contributions along with a dozen others. If you'd like one of these cds leave a comment underneath this journal entry w/ your name and address. You're welcome to send a couple dollars to help with shipping expenses, but I'm not allowed to sell and make a profit on them. (If you order one of my new Sandman Live and Suspicious! cds then I'll toss a M.O.B. compilation cd in there, upon request.) The goal is to get these compilations into the hands of as many people who would appreciate and play them as possible. Radio deejays are especially encouraged to solicit. I must admit that I'm a little embarrassed by my cheesy two-year-old recording of "Scapegoat Song", but other people's songs are really top-notch and worth hearing. Utah Phillip's two spoken word pieces are particularly sweet.

If you want a copy let me know. And in the case you wish to send one or two greenback dollars to help with shipping costs, my mailing address is: Chris Sand / 105 N. Sherman / Olympia, WA 98502.

I'm too tired to write. I just dug trench for eight hours in the rain.

Mud is heavier than dirt and it sticks to the shovel. Nasty duty. I'll be shoveling mud all week if my back can take it.

This weekend I played three shows at a tavern in Friday Harbor which is a small town on San Juan Island. These shows are a lot of work because I have to play close to fifty songs to football-watching tourists who don't always appreciate my performances. One guy made a scene about how he wished I'd "shut the hell up." Other people, though, loved it. For example, a table of five middle-aged women tipped me $50-- they liked my bravado. Here's another highlight-- after I rapped "Honky from Montana" (which mentions that I'm from Charlo, Montana) a woman from the small crowd exclaimed, "I'm from Charlo, too!!" She's close friends with my uncles John and Tom. Only about three-hundred people live in Charlo. Her name's Lori Foust.

A big bummer from the trip was that the bar owner and I hadn't communicated adequately. He thought he was paying me $50 per show and I was sure it was going to be $100. He gave me what I requested but said he can't afford to bring me back next weekend.

Then I left my cell-phone charger on the island, as well as the book I was reading and $40. Oy vey. Oh, I should mention that the hostel I stayed at is incredibly cool. If you're ever on San Juan Island you can't go wrong at the Juniper Lane Guest House. My good friend Juniper runs it. It's high-class, yet affordable and cozy.

I'd better hit the hay now.

I'm back to diggin' holes. I'll tell you more tomorrow after I'm done with my shift at Epic Landscape.

Witness the mini bio.

About Sandman: Punk Planet wrote, "Chris Sand is our troubadour for the 21st century." Also known as Montana's Rappin' Cowboy, Chris "Sandman" Sand's music is heavily influenced by both the cowboy poetry/western stylings of his ranch relatives and the old-school hip hop that permeated the Flathead Indian Reservation (where he was raised) during the mid-1980s. A third influence would have to be the d.i.y./punk scene in Olympia, Washington, where Sandman moved to in the mid-90s to begin his musical career. Sandman has performed or recorded with a spectrum of diverse artists such as Michael Franti & Spearhead, Calvin Johnson, Laura Love, Dan Bern, CEX, Baby Gramps, and Mirah, to name a few.

"As far as the Northwest goes, no one has had as compatible a marriage between hip-hop and country since Sir-Mix-A-Lot." The Spokesman-Review
"Sandman produces a thoroughly contemporary and unromanticized vision of the itinerant minstrel." No Depression
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Today, and for the next couple weeks, I will be landscaping for $9/hr. The $20/hr. job I was preparing for was literally too good to be true, and it fell through.

I'm listening to Springsteen's Tunnel of Love which I bought for .59 cents at Goodwill today. It's so good. I like the synthesizers and stuff. I also bought Born in the USA, but I just can't stop listening to Tunnel of Love. Definitely the Boss.

I've had some snafus with the Sandman Live and Suspicious! cd artwork and it's taking a while longer than I'd expected to get the ball rolling at the manufacturers. Hopefully by Friday it'll be set and ready.

Yesterday I wrote about wanting to compile a book of my lyrics. Today, interestingly, a music writer friend whose work I admire told me I should seriously think about writing a book about my travels as "North America's Rappin' Cowboy". He says he has connections with some publishers whom he thinks might bite, and he offered to help with the editing, too. Though I'm honored, I would feel like such a turd trying to peddle that book. People would laugh at me with my stack of autobiographies. But, then again, maybe that's part of the tragicomedy. I'd certainly have fun writing this book 'cause I could exaggerate everything and select the handsomest pictures. It's just bad enough of an idea that I might start tonight. I'll call it: Honky: the Odious Adventures of Sandman the Cowboy Rapper.

My world is in a strange little pocket right now. I'm almost not busy for the first time in months. I've had time to spend with Sydney, play some local shows, work on the house, and even read a book of short stories by Roald (not Ronald) Dahl. I can't quite trust this sensation, though. Afterall, I still need to set up a week of shows in New England for early October. Actually, what I probably should be doing with my spare time is creating a book of lyrics; many people have asked me when I'll have something like that available for purchase. Plus, I'm starting to lose track of my song catalogue. I've written dozens of ditties in the last few years that I've never had time to flesh out musically because they call for more of a band-type arrangement. Lyrically they stand up fine, though, and I want them documented before they skip my memory banks.

If I were a rich man, I would hire a team of fourteen music producers, seven graphic designers, and two secretaries. With their help I would create, in the next two years, ten new records, three websites, and a thick, full-color book about my bourgeois, uber-creative lifestyle. And then, after a couple years, I'd rejoin the proletariat and have two children with a union maid. We'd move to North Dakota. We'd vote Democrat. We'd enjoy the spaghetti socials. We'd build a house. I'd never write another song again for as long as I friggin' lived.

I would live happy and free.

It's 4 a.m. I just returned from an unannounced show w/ Willie Wisely in Port Townsend; I filled in for The Mona Reels who got stranded in Eugene, Oregon. The crowd was young and liked my stuff. I sold lots of pillow cases and cds. Willie rocked as always. Tomorrow we roll southerly, to Portland.

I'd better drift to Sandland, now...

Have you ever heard of freeway blogging? Not a bad idea.

I'm tacking on a show tonight in Port Townsend at the Boiler Room, which is two hours North of here. I'm filling in for Peter Connelly who's stuck in Eugene.

Here is the song order for the soon-to-be pressed Live and Suspicious! cd.

1. Suspicious
2. Shell Shocked Man/Radio Works Fine
3. Scapegoat Song
4. Beer Pressure
5. Laborer
6. Revolution Come
7. Beauty Myth
8. Please, Louise
9. Ghost
10. Shenanigans
11. Saddle Bum/Tribute to "Rapper's Delight"
12. Imaginary World

My old pal, Jack Norton, has repackaged his vinyl 7" and called it: Roll On, Cowboy. If I recall correctly, he wrote it as a sort of response to my song "Roll Out, Cowboy." The artwork gives me pleasure.

And here are some singing horses.

I made it onto a compilation cd which will be coming out this month. Other artists on it include Utah Phillips, Greg Brown, and Stephan Smith. The common theme of the album will be-- let's give Bush/Cheney the boot come election-time. Here's the song-title & musician link.

I have moved out of my old shack, in the backyard of the ABC House, and into the ABC House guest bedroom, which is actually a nicer habitation in many ways. In lieu of rent money I will be working one hour a day on various house projects. Yesterday I replaced a broken cat-door. Today I shopped for cleaning supplies, and I will sweep the basement steps later this evening.

My friend David Scherer called earlier today and said he might have a couple days of employment for me next week at $20/hr(!). I asked him why so much $/hour and he said that's what construction foremen make these days-- minimum. He manages various buildings around town and would like to employ me later this Winter, too. I like both the flexibility and wage of his offer. He's a good friend. Someday, I truly believe, he will be President of the United States.

I'm stripes!

Are you fascinated by conspiracy theories? I'm not usually, but this video is worth the ride. I've always sort of wondered what happened to the plane that (maybe) crashed into the Pentagon, but left no wreckage-- not that this video necessarily answers that question. Truth is slippery sometimes.

Today I must pack and move out of my room-- no rent money.

Last night, Scotty at CrimethInc. generously constructed the artwork for the Live and Suspicious! cd. It looks amazing, and unlike any of my other cds. Very professional... and funny, too.

And last, but not least, I received a letter yesterday, that I appreciated, regarding the Slippery Goodstuff hip hopera. Here it is:

hi, sandman.

i have been wanting to email you for a while now and let you know that your show of a few weeks ago at the roxy really made quite an impact on me, and i've been thinking about it ever since.

i have been dealing with an excruciating period of body image problems, as well as an eating disorder that i have only recently come to recognize for what it is--self-hatred and fear all wrapped up in unconsciousness and confusion. your show made me think and feel and laugh about these issues, and left me feeling a sense of relief that i am not the only one who goes through the convoluted and painful process of self-examination.

thank you for the incredible amount of work it must have taken to put that show together. i loved mount eerie and woelve, too, but it was your risk-taking and bombastic exposition that stayed with me and gave me some kind of peaceful feeling inside. every time that voice starts up in my head telling me how ugly i am, i think about your show and i can't help but smile.

thanks again.
e

After a couple cool weeks the temperature is up in the high 80's again. I think I'll be swimming real soon. Right now though I'm trying to put some time into completing the artwork for the Sandman Live and Suspicious! cd. What I really need to be doing, though, is packing and figuring out where I'm going to live starting September 1st. I'm two months behind paying rent and have nothing to offer for September, either. It makes me sad that I can't continue my residency here, but, fortunately my housemates are letting me sublet my room for three months in the hopes that I can come up with ample rent funds in the interim. Zardoz will take my place until then.

Yesterday was a long, good day. I drove Goose to the airport at 5 a.m. and then came home and napped. Then my housemate John married his lady, Diane, in our huge yard under the black walnut tree. It was a beautiful ceremony. Lenny dee jayed and played the best dub reggae I've ever heard. After that I drove to Portland for the hip hop show with Madgesdiq, who is truly a tower of power. He stands about 6'6" barefoot and has an almost biblical presence-- a black Moses, a dreadlocked Christ. Great words, great beats, nice guy.

As for me, the crowd appeared to love the songs. I always relax playing for predominantly black audiences because they give back so much energy (both positive and negative, sometimes). At one point the crowd started spontaneously chanting, "Go cowboy! Go cowboy! Go cowboy!," etc. I had a good time and earned $50. And then I drove back to Olympia and slept.

Tomorrow night (Saturday, which is actually today now) I play a show in Portland with a rapper named Madgesdiq. The venue is Mississippi Studios. Mississippi Studios is where I recorded a slew of songs for my 2005 release, last month before tour. I'll be playing there again next Saturday with Willie Wisely (who produced those songs), and the Mona Reels.

It's 2:02 a.m. and in about two hours I will be driving my good friend, Chris "Goose" Kirk, to the airport. He is moving to Colombia-- South America, to start a new life and be with his amor. His Colombian girlfriend looks like a "Victoria's Secret" model. In fact her name is Victoria! I'm not joking...

I will sleep now.

Here's another tour highlight. In Butte, MT, we found a discount store called Prospector's that sold Cliff Bars for ten cents. No tax, even! I also bought four disposable, telephoto cameras for $2 each.

Today has been a flurry of activities and errands. Tonight, though, I relax with Sydney, and hopefully Nima and Amanda as well. We may watch a movie or play board games. Sounds good to me.

I just remembered another highlight from the "Slippery Goodstuff" tour; an anonymous philanthropist left me, Shawn, and Jonah an envelope which contained a $50-bill and a note saying that the money was the "Spirit of the Fringe" prize!!! It was unofficial, but it lifted our ragged morales to the sky's ceiling. Another person gifted us with seven of her favorite cds, including the two most recent Modest Mouse albums.

Today is all about the business of raising money for the new Sandman Live and Suspicious cd. G.O.D. (aka Giles O'Dell who I think hates being called G.O.D.) just lent me $500! Thank G.O.D.! Now I have $ 1000 to go. G.O.D. is a generous S.O.B. That's about all the money he has...

Andras is doing his job for me. He's been trying to get my song "Suspicious" on Air America and Democracy Now! By the way, have you heard this song yet? If not, let me introduce you to the Pop Ghetto website. You can listen to "Suspicious" from there. It's a sample of the fully produced album-to-come that Willie Wisely will be working on over the next year. Most of my vocals are already recorded. "Suspicious" is the only completely finished song and will probably only be released on my new cd. It's the only song that's not live, but the topicality of it requires it to be released asap.

Here are the lyrics:

Suspicious

Your nice new car ain't so nice anymore
Your fender had a bender, now you're tender and sore
And you're a bad loser, so you started a war
But just a tad sooner than your dad did before

Chorus:
And that's suspicious (3x)
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt-- one time.

But then I started thinking about election day
Two-thousand-zero-zero-zero, Y2K
How something smelled fishy like... fish filet!
And your brother and your mother, they had nothin' to say

Chorus:
It was suspicious (3x)
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt-- two times.

Osama over here, Osama over there
Osama and your mama like to share their underwear
Osama on the prairie, Osama in your tuchus
Osama's whole family vacations with the Bushes

Chorus:
That's suspicious (2x)
Ain't that suspicious?
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt-- some more times.

All around the world, from Spain to Bangkok
Americans are studied from Twain to Hancock
They give us mad props, 'cause they know we can rock
But the paradox is that our leader can't talk

Chorus:
That's suspicious-- I thought you went to Yale
Suspicious-- How come you didn't fail?
Suspicious-- I ain't sayin' you're dumb
That would be vicious-- I just wonder how come
You're so suspicious...
-----------------------

The words are simple enough; it's the music that makes this song a potential "pop" hit. It gets better with each listen I think. Willie is a maestro!
-----------------------

p.s. I had dinner with Sydney last night. Her four-year-old daughter, Mirin, calls me "Calvin" for some reason. She also called me "Pine Tree." I think both those names are probably more interesting than Chris, so I didn't really try to correct her.

The day just disappears somehow, sometimes. I'd meant to write a lot in here, but it's dinner-time now, and I have a date with sexy Sydney, and her daughters Zela and Mirin. And after that a house meeting. And then something else, as yet undecided...

Tomorrow then. However, I will briefly recount some tour highlights from the final week on the road with Moustaches:

1. The last three Slippery G. shows in Minneapolis were redemptive and enjoyable.
2. A lovely woman named Marianne, whom I met at a cafe, became my Minneapolis tour-guide for the final evening. She took me to an amazing honky tonk venue where old people dressed up in vintage Western attire (think Patsy Cline, George Jones, etc.) and two-stepped. The house band let me get up and belt out Johnny Cash's "Big River" and Ernest Tubb's "Thanks a Lot." The blue-haired swingers winked and swayed.
3. On the 16th I played a secret, surprise show for a young man's birthday party in Aberdeen, South Dakota. His place of work happened to be Democratic Senator Tom Daschle's office. Tom was gone, though, so in we crashed. I sang three songs and ate a slice of pizza.
4. On the 17th we visited my parents' and grandparents' in Killdeer, ND. My grandpa had just killed and skinned a rattlesnake. It was huge (12 rattles). Zardoz and Blandow were not in the mood to eat it, so my mom cooked some fish instead.
5. The show in Basin, MT, on the 18th, was great. My aunt Bryher fed us well. The venue is an ancient, haunted bordello; Zardoz and Blandow were way freaked out! They like being scared, though.
6. The Missoula show, on the 19th, with The Microphones and Woelv, was momentous. Phil brings huge, young audiences and we were priviliged to reap the financial benefits.
7. On the 20th, we visited my Grandma Herak in Polson, MT. It appears that she might have Parkinson's disease so I try to see her as much as possible. I love her.
8. The Spokane experience (later on the 20th) was the perfect finale. I sold about ten pillow cases! Jeremy Hadley is a peach for his constant help. We drove to Ellensburg after the show and slept in the Log Hog recording studio.

Now I must bid you good evening...

I've been a bad blogger. So busy with guests and house duties and trying to fund raise for my 6th CD!! This one is called Sandman Live and Suspicious! The goal is $1500 this week. If anyone out there can help out with the whole chunk, I will pay you it back plus generous interest by December. It's a twelve-song live album, except for the first track, which is a politically charged, highly produced pop song called "Suspicious."

I am back in Olympia. The tour is complete. It rained all day today and I liked it.

Our last three shows (Basin, Missoula, and Spokane) were amazing, and they boosted our morale significantly. Here's a write-up we got in The Spokesman-Review. It's one of my all-time favorites, mainly for the reason that my music gets compared to that of Tupac Shakur, Kool Keith, Eazy E, Ice-T, and even Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a chance to recollect the tour better.

Hola from Missoula. Tonight I play at the Roxy Theater with The Microphones/Mt. Eerie, & Woelv. Good times.

Our show in Basin last night was tremendous. I sold eight pillow cases!

I'll talk more later...