Now Garf and I are in San Diego. I'm frustrated that I don't have more computer time to start setting up the next tour. Dan Bern is here in the room playing some new songs for Andras and I. Web-search him if you get a chance. Bye.

Now Garf and I are in L.A. I'm jonesin' for a full-day in front of a computer to catch up on emails and tour-stuff. Right now I'm in a public library with only twenty-minutes to use this.

I'm in Sand Mancisco listening to the Flaming Lips. Tomorrow Chad (aka "Garf") and I head south to Sand I-ego.

We are safe in the great bear paw of Sandifornia.

Please don't eat us Mr. Bear.

Egads! I must leave for tour now. My goal is to sell a lot of shirts, make a lot of friends, and keep li'l JOE running smoothly (prioritized in reverse order). And talk a lot with Chad.

Here's a prayer my mom used to always say before driving long-distances:

Our Lady of the Highway
Protect us on this journey
For all your ways are beautiful
And all your paths are peace.

Amen.

Not to seem paranoid or anything but I've had my hotmail account broken into twice this week. If this is related to my relationship with CrimethInc. then whomever you are please use this password from now on so I don't have to keep resetting it: "patriot_act". Now you can read my emails everyday without hassle for either of us. I'll warn you though, they're pretty boring.

Today is my last full day in Olympia before tour and I feel relaxed and ready. I just have to get a hair-cut and wash some clothes. The new cds have arrived at CrimethInc. and will be assembled by tomorrow morning. Scottie and crew have to fold and glue each envelope. My friend Kat came over last night and helped fold one-hundred "You Can Do Anything" zines which I'll tuck into each packet.

I can't think of anything else to say at the moment.

Damn I've been productive today. I haven't stopped hustling since early this morning and now its 3:33 a.m.!

Well, I ended up cancelling that show in San Fran I was talking about in my last web-entry so that's good. I can now focus on the big April/May tour as soon as I return from San Diego. The highlight of the day for me was seeing that CrimethInc. has dedicated a whole-page presentation of The Long Walk Home on their web-site. Barefoot Scottie rocks! I encourage you to order from them rather than me, 'cause I'll probably charge you $10 instead of the $6 that they charge. Plus if you buy over five at once they only charge $3.50 each. That means you can order five copies for a grand, postage-paid total of $17.50 (and they'll throw other interesting anarchist propaganda into the mix gratis). They use recycled paper and have included a miniature version of one of my "You Can Do Anything" zines with each cd. They've also added a hidden track of, shhhh-- don't tell anyone, "Curtis Lumber" and rearranged all the songs to make the album flow better. You should order five copies off their site tomorrow and distribute them to your carpenter buddies as gifts. They'll then treat you to a generous lunch at Myrtle's Soul Kitchen next Tuesday and everybody'll win! Then with all that money you saved order one of my damn Slippery Goodstuff albums or maybe Love's Hangover Sale. Buy 'em both for a total of $25 postage-paid and I'll send you one of my new "Sandman" pillow-cases. Rent is overdue, again, as if you didn't know...

Here are my two-days' earnings: $112 for tree removal, $138 music related = $250! That gives me half of last month's rent. This little west coast tour I've been working so dilligently at is going to be a big flop, though, unless I can get about five more shows. Add to that that I have to get back down to San Francisco for one coffee house gig a week after I return to Olympia. I'll lose money with that gig unless I hitch-hike and live off of 3-for-1 hot dogs and toilet water while on the road. Drats. I suck at booking tours anymore. The big U.S. tour with Ivan looks more promising, fortunately, since I'll have his and Andras' help with it.

Last night's Valentine show with Senayit and Mr. Queen went well. A lot of people showed up and hooted and hollered all night. These two HOT sirens were trying to corral me for some midnight rodeo, I think. I can never quite be sure of these things, but that's surely the way it seemed. They were too drunk though to make it past my sheep dog. (That don't mean that he didn't miss 'em when they left, though, 'cause even dusty old sheep dogs get a little lonely come Valentine's Day.)

Happy Valentine's Day!! Three cheers for LOVE.

The show at the Matrix Coffee House went well. Low turnout, but a cool environment. They fed me a huge plate of pork-chops, peas, and potatos. Baby Gramps, the eccentric legendary guitar vaudevillian, happened to be drinking coffee when I arrived and he decided to hang out a couple extra hours and watch my show. He was on his way to Portland from Seattle. What an all-around cool guy Gramps is. He gave me a lot of inside contacts of places to play and people to call and expressed interest in playing a series of shows together at some point. I'd open up for him for free just to tap into his huge audience.

I'm busier than ever booking shows until June and preparing for the West Coast tour in five days not to mention a show at the East Side Tavern in two hours.

And I almost forgot to mention; my parents are about to buy a house. They live in a small, over-heated apartment in Killdeer, North Dakota, but found a really cool, old house for sale for only $25,000. That's one year's rent in Manhattan! It turns out that my dad's great-uncle built it ninety-or-so years ago (which they were completely unaware of when bidding for it). Meanwhile my dad is also building a house on my grandparents' ranch on Killdeer Mountain. Now they'll have their Winter and Summer homes only eleven miles apart! I love North Dakota.

Today was incredibly warm and sunny for this time of year. I can't believe that Chad and I leave for tour in only one week! I have a lot of stuff to do. My groin injury is lessoning. The chiropractor doesn't think that it's a hernia. I accidentally rubbed Ben Gay on my testicles last night at 3 AM and spent a good hour howling and cursing. I took a shower and tried to wash the ointment off which seemed to make things worse. I put ice-cubes on it and then sliced a potato in half and applied it in an attempt to suck the poisons out. Nothing worked! Eventually I had to do this deep meditation and just let the fiery pain wash over me until I passed out at 4:30 AM. Not fun. Tomorrow I do tree-removal starting at 7:15 AM and then drive to Chehalis for a show in the evening.

In April, May, and June it looks like I'll be touring with Ivan Okay! Our very seminal tour schedule looks like this:

APRIL
fri 23 milwaukee
sa 24 madison
su 25 cincinnati
mo 26 canton
tu 27 waterloo
we 28 toronto
th 29 ottawa
fri 30 montreal
MAY
sa 1 quebec
su 2 lennoxville, pq or burlington
mo 3 portland, me
tu 4 boston
we 5 new haven, ct
th 6 brooklyn
fri 7 NYC
sa 8 philly
su 9 DC
mo 10 charlottesville
tu 11 Asheville, NC/Black Mountain, NC
we 12 nashville or Murfreesboro
th 13 nashville or Murfreesboro
fri 14 little rock
sa 15 new orleans
su 16 denton or austin
mo 17 el paso
tu 18 tuscon
we 19 las vegas
th 20 san diego or lake elsinore
fri 21 LA
sa 22 SLO
su 23 santa cruz
mo 24 SF or east bay
tu 25 SF or east bay
we 26 chico
th 27 eugene
fri 28 portland
sa 29 olympia
su 30 vancouver
mo 31 Anacortes, WA
JUNE
tu 1 spokane
we 2 missoula
th 3 SLC
fri 4 denver or laramie
sat 5 omaha
sun 6 minneapolis
---------------------------------------

I pulled carpet all day and I'm so tired. Earned $93. I hope the IRS doesn't read my journal. Which reminds me...

I had a dream last night that Ronald Reagan was president again and he got busted siphoning U.S. tax money into his personal checking account. It was in all the newspapers and talk-shows and impeachment seemed inevitable. The next day, however, Ronnie came out with a State of the Union address railing against any American who might find it unfair that the President of the U.S.A., "the man with the most responsibility in the world", should have to account for a ridiculous discrepency such as this. He argued, "My doctor makes more money per year than I do, and I'm the leader of the friggin' free world!" Before nightfall 75% of all Americans had come to the conclusion that he was right and, ashamed, we again fell in love with this good, smart, leader of men who refused to buckle under pressure. His ratings sky-rocketed. Needless to say, I was flabbergasted and felt a little dizzy, and had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. It was a relief to wake up and realize that it had only been a bad dream.

Tonight is the first time I've ever used my own computer to post a journal entry. I've always used either the library's or the Evergreen computer center or my roommate Lenny's or an internet cafe but never my own! My pal, Christian, gave it to me for cheap. I've christened it "Abbie" after the late, great Yippie activist, Abbie Hoffman, whose autobiography I'm almost finished with. He had just the right amount of mischief and seriousness to make an impact on his generation (and mine!), and thusly I now have confidence that this PC will do the same. The screen is small but it does it all. The mouse-pad sticks but does the trick. The keyboard is funky and the modem is clunky but now they're mine and I think they're just fine.

And speakin' of cheese... my Wisconsin pal Ivanhood, and I, have begun planning an "around-the-USA-in-thirty-days-in-May" tour. I'll keep you updated as to where we'll start, etc. as we figure it all out.

Today I saw a double-feature with my friend Candyce-- Peter Pan and Big Fish. Both were pretty entertaining, I thought.

Tomorrow I'll be removing carpet at the Martin Apartments. Kurt Cobain tromped all over that carpet in the late 80's/early 90's. Truth.

Barefoot Scottie at CrimethInc. just picked up the The Long Walk Home cd envelopes and says they look awesome! The cds themselves got held up due to an east coast snowstorm, but will be shipped by next week.

I spent today at Evergreen forwarding as much tour-information as I could to Andras so that he can start booking me some decent shows. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have Andras and Scottie on my side. My dream-team is forming around me it seems. I've been realizing today how rich my life is. In spite of certain debts looming over my head and a car that might not make it much longer I sometimes feel like such a wealthy man. I have really fantastic parents who live like the rural, North Dakota gnomes they are, and who write me daily. I habitate an artistically thriving town with lots of friends. I have mentors like Calvin Johnson and Lois Maffeo and Bret Lunsford and Jason Traeger and Al Larsen. The new Sandman image that Trisha drew is classic and appealing. Chad's my drummer. Jonah's my deejay. Shawn and Carl produce me. KAOS and the pirate radio station play me. I'm still in love with all my current and ex-girlfriends (Trisha, Jen, Nina, Candyce, etc.)! I've watched lots of babies be born and grow up, who like me. Lucinda is now ten-yrs-old. Random's eight, I think!! I live in the greatest old house in Olympia with the cheapest rent and good room-mates. I have the nicest boss (Greg Lukens) who only needs me about once a week and pays $13/hr. for enjoyable work (tree removal). 319-JOE, the "Sea Biscuit" of all cars, keeps on tickin'. He's a true populist hero who carries me near and far without complaint-- so sleek, so road-worthy, I love him like no other. I play in a band (Step-world) with two of Olympia's finest songwriters (Jason Traeger and Peter Connelly). My favorite cd, A Year in the Life of Slippery Goodstuff, hasn't even officially been released and it's already outselling all four of my previous releases (in the time span that it's been available). The moon is full. Spring is knockin' on Winter's door. I have allies in many states. I like my guitar, cowboy hat, and Adidas tennis shoes. My mutton-chops grow thick and fairly evenly. I'm surely forgetting some things which will have to be added.

Wow, what a day! I can't remember anything about yesterday except going to a show at the Voyuer (which is a funky restaurant/bar in down-town Olympia-- not a strip club). Home by 12:30 am. Asleep. Up at 7:00 am. To work at 8:20 doing tree-removal until 5:30 pm. $110 paycheck! Home at 5:45 pm. $22.25 check in mail for two cds. Shower. Thirty minute practice with Chad. Leave for show. Show starts at 8:00 pm. Liarbird opens. We follow at 8:45. Play for forty-five minutes. Rock! I sell six combo packs of Long Ride Home/"Sandman" pillow cases; earn $60!

Day's wages: $192.25.

The reason that I have accentuated my earnings today is because my rent is one month behind and I have an acute desire to pay that damn bill plus this month's before I leave for tour in ten days. I have a feeling this tour won't pay much.

Chad and I played a memorable set. We ended with my new rap-jam "No More Shenanigans". All the bands were great, but in particular it was good to see the trio-- Kickball. That shit was tight!

My morale is back on track. Life is good. The sun shone. I took a walk; found a four-leaf clover. I got a massage from a muscle-specialist who doesn't think I have a hernia although she thinks it might be a herniated disc that's sending pain-signals to my groin. She recommended a chiropractor. I went to the chiropractor and he thinks it's just a torn muscle or ligament. I will continue visiting him until I leave on tour. Hopefully I'll start to feel better by then. He recommended lots of walking for the next two weeks. Then I went to K Records and picked up one-hundred Long Ride Home cds that had been returned from the distributor which is good 'cause I can sell them on tour. Then I had a meeting with my awesome promoter Andras who is excited to help me with booking many a show this year. It looks like I may tour all throughout the month of May as well-- possibly on the East Coast, too! Then my friend Christian came over with a computer for me. He's giving it to me for only $175 and it has a cd-burner, printer, and sound system. He knows I'm broke so he'll let me pay when I can. We'll hopefully hook it up tomorrow. Then I played poker for a few hours. Now it's 4 am and I ought to sleep.

Here's another morale-boosting quote. This one from a young woman (and mother of a cute little two-year-old) who wrote this last Fall:

"I have to let ya know that you are admired by many people, not only for your music, but for your unique individuality, warmth, and spirit. It shines clear through your eyes, and when I first saw you perform it was obvious. You're just a cool normal guy speaking from the heart through song, and by golly, Mr. Cowboy, you underestimate your ingenious talent in a ridiculous way. I know with endurance and strength... you may be known far and wide for your wit and style. Keep that in mind please, as I, at least, see it in ya."

How awesome is that?! I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy... Ok, I guess I'm slightly worthy. Thanks Dionne.

In an attempt to boost my low-morale I've attached a quote from a Texas musician I admire named Southpaw Jones who wrote me this yesterday:

"I feel like I'm getting close in my own creative life to the 'seriously, absolutely no rules' approach to music/songwriting that I picked up from you. Whether you meant to pass that on or not, it's a good thing."

His website is www.southpawjones.com if you're curious.
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Also, if you need to register to vote or know someone who does... this website may be helpful as it has a short and sweet online voter's registration link: www.workingforchange.com/vote
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And finally, a terrific expose on the connections between Saddam Hussein and Sandman Vespucci.

Groggy. The sun has only shined once this Winter, and briefly at that...

Trisha flew to Mexico City this morning for six weeks. I'm envious. She and I drove to the ocean on Saturday and stayed in a cheap hotel. After waking we skipped rocks on the choppy waves and chased seagulls around. While driving home we witnessed a couple bald eagles scavenging crabs amidst a multitude of ravens along the shoreline. I sorta wished they were up their twirling betwixt the yellow clouds instead.

(My morale is low today.)

E-mails didn't really pour in from people wanting to feed me. It was an illusion! Let that be a lesson to you to never trust rapping cowboys, nor their propaganda. We sometimes manipulate reality to suit our chicanery. It is true, however, that both my parents (in separate emails) expressed concern about my diet. To them I replied, "I was just using meat as a tool to express my dismay over the expensive war that my fool-headed leaders have initiated. I mean some people in this country are malnourished and such." As for me, I can't really complain. I'm healthy as a bull. But what about those starving unfortunates who don't have web-journals? Someone's got to expound on the glories of a good antelope-burger, for chrissakes! Durn...

I appreciate the emails that poured in with offers to cook me a good, meaty meal next time I pass through your town. I'll take you up on it. I think that my drummer, Chad, is a vegetarian though which means I'll be eating his portion, too. He can have my potatos if his run out. We'll chop wood for you in the morning and feed the llamas to show our appreciation.

Today Trisha will be helping me silk-screen a couple hundred t-shirts to sell on tour. She created a new shirt-design of me flexing my biceps. She definitely didn't exaggerate the circumference of my arm; in fact it looks quite atrophied. I guess that will be my Rock & Roll trademark. Barbara Streisand has the long nose, Henry Rollins has the unibrow, Peaches has the gapped teeth, Seal has the acne scars, and Sandman is a bow-legged stick-figure with mutton-chops and a cowboy hat... and gold necklace.

Did I mention that it's raining? The droplets are as big as grapes!

Will Rogers, the great cowboy philosopher of yesteryear, once said, "War is a lot like meat. You can't have it because you can't afford it." He probably said that during one of those big wars. I wish I could afford a little meat.

I do have one jar of venison that I've been hoarding for eight months. I'd probably eat horse if it was prepared the way my dad prepares venison. I crave bison flesh at the moment... Lamb sounds good, too. All I eat is beans and porridge, porridge and beans.

Will Rogers also said, "Any man who eats chili can't be all bad." I ain't all bad. I sure wish I had a little carne to go with that damn chili, though.

My fellow Americans, I have a video for you to watch if you're so inclined. Click here.

As for the email I received wondering which songs Chad and I played at the Democratic Presidential Forum, they went as follows:

1) "Imaginary World"
2) "Laborer"
3) "The Scapegoat Song"
--encore--
4) "Shell-shocked Man"
5) "It's Good to Be Awake When She Arrives"
6) "Ronald McDonald"
-----------------------
I did tree-removal today and earned $100. Tomorrow I'll work for the Children's Museum moving some of their stuff to a storage locker somewhere.

I am as busy as busy gets. I don't even see an end in sight until next week. Sorry if this weblog is sort of sparse for the next few days. (It hurts me more than you know.)

But let me say, Chad and I did rock the Democratic Presidential Forum. The new-old L.R.H. cd has been sent off for duplication. There will be an unreleased hidden track in which I do play harmonica and sound like Tom Waits. It's called "Curtis Lumber". And a new folk cd has begun. Expect it out by early Autumn...

Chad, Trisha, and I just returned from the Portland gig which went really well! We scored a silent-film at the Guild Theater which was reviewed in the Portland Mercury. They write: "The evening's highlight will undoubtedly come from The Red Stallion's Revenge, scored by Sandman, the Rappin' Cowboy. It's an old-timey country tale of revenge and death, the frontier, and most importantly: an epic grudge match between a pony and a grizzly bear! In an unbelievable sequence of violent choreography, the two beasts duke it out in the woods." It was a near disaster, though, as I realized, seconds before my singing part began that I'd forgotten to plug my guitar in. Somehow, Trisha and Chad kept it going until I found the cord, plugged in, and started the lyrics at the very last moment. Sleater-Kinney scored the same film last year.

Now I'm off to the Thurston County Presidential Candidate's Forum at the Eagle's Club Ballroom, where reps from the campaigns of Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, John Kerry, and Dennis Kucinich will address the state of the environment, healthcare, the war in Iraq, and education. At 7:15 Chad and I will perform four songs to the audience.

Alert: Yesterday's dandruff got worse. Now my dandruff has dandruff. That snow-storm that happened in Wisconsin was my fault! Thanks Megan and Mom for your tips. I'll experiment with spearmint and baking powder to begin with and then I'll move to the vaseline-gasoline therapy if that doesn't help. I don't mind if my hair looks a little greasy as long as the flakes disappear.

Still busy. This morning my soon-to-be-official promoter/booker, Andras Jones, and I dissected a couple management contracts in order to find a deal that works for us both. Next week we'll probably hire a lawyer to scrutinize the finer points and then, if all goes well, I'll have my first, for lack of a better word, manager. Or perhaps Sandmanager. Or maybe Motor-booker (promoter/booker). I don't what to call it. Basically neither of us like the word "manager". I'm my own manager, really. Andras will be more of a counselor and agent... a musician's friend so to speak... a guiding light and, er, a loyal helping hand... a wizened confidante who gets paid appropriately for thus duties. You get the point. Now I must go paint another office space.

By the way, does anybody know how to get rid of dandruff? My anti-dry-scalp shampoo seems to be making it all worse. Even my eyebrows now have dandruff!!

Crazy busy. Crazy busy.

Here are the lyrics to the song that Trisha and I wrote for the Decomposer Film Fest which takes place in Portland on Saturday. We score a seven-minute film called The Red Stallion's Revenge:

Death of a Red Mare

Little bear, crazy bear
Running up the mountain-side
You're lonely now, lonelier
Than anyone, anywhere.

Hungry bear without a home
Without someone to call your own
You're angry that you're still alone
A stranger still with time to kill
The honey's gone.

Yes life is sweet and then it's done
You'd better push yourself along
Silly bear... crazy little bear.
---------

Little horse, pretty horse
Newly born before the dawn
Your mama's gone, the timing's wrong
You'll stay asleep until she comes.

Little colt with auburn hair
You don't see her anywhere
All the fear you feel inside
Are just some tears you've had to hide.

--you've had to hide.

The morning sun is in your eyes
On wobbly legs you're forced to fight
Little horse... pretty, little horse.

Painted today. Now band practice.

I edited yesterday's blog a little. Must go.

I prepped and primed a couple offices today at the Westside Wellness Center. I'll paint tomorrow.

Here's the CrimethInc. update: three songs will be deleted ("Modern Man", "Go Easy on Me Boss [My Heart is Breakin']", and "Goner"). The rest will be rearranged and sold as The Long Walk Home for $6 mail-order from CrimethInc.com. All new songs may go towards a new album. This way I don't have to hassle with re-mastering and re-recording.

Some of you have written me letters requesting certain changes, but I'm going to stick with what I've got. The strongest reactions seem to be about the laughter on "Ol' King Kong"... The reason I'm keeping it is because it reflects the nervousness I felt while singing about 9/11/01. I think the whole nation still feels freaked out about that incident and/or the clamp down of free speech directly afterwards. I'm not trying to be callous or self-indulgent, even though the first verse might have you think so; I'm trying to convey that I'm an average American schmuck who truly cannot believe what is happening before my eyes!! My mundane paradigm, full of addictions and apathy, has suddenly shifted and now I'm actually terrified. The nervous laugh came from choking on a dry muffin as well as singing about this incident so shortly after the collapse of the World Trade Centers. We recorded it in December of 2001. But the song is really just a small piece in the puzzle. The final song, "MLK (Folk Legend)", has the last and best word.

By mid-February CrimethInc. will press the first 1,000 copies which means I'll have them for my odyssey down the coast with Chad.