Wednesday, March 01, 2006

It occurred to me today that I'm one step away from becoming a Norwegian bachelor farmer, the kind that Garrison Keillor talks about on Prairie Home Companion. The only thing missing is the farm. I came across some Norwegian jokes to share. Don't feel bad for us--Norwegians like being the butt of unfair jokes.

1. Two Norwegians at the funeral of their friend Nels. “He sure looks good,” said one. “He should,” remarked the other, “he just got out of the hospital.”

2. Q: Why do Norwegians have such pretty noses?
A: Because they’re hand picked.

3. Two Norwegians were trying to get a mule into the barn but its ears were too long. One Norwegian suggested raising the barn. The other one thought they should dig a trench. “No, you dummy,” exploded the first, “it’s the ears that are too long, not the legs.”

4. 1st Norsky: What’s in the sack?
2nd Norsky: Chickens.
1st Norsky: How Many?
2nd Norsky: If you can guess, I’ll give you both of dem.

5. Q: How can you identify a level-headed Norwegian?
A: When the snoose runs out of both corners of his mouth.

6. Who was the most famous Norwegian inventor?
Henry Fjord.

7. Marriage license clerk: Names, please.
Ole: Ole Johnson
Lena: Lena Johnson
Clerk: Any relations?
Lena (blushing): “Yah, vunce or tvice, Ole couldn’t vait.”

8. Q: What did the Norwegian say when he saw his first pizza?
A: “Who trew up on da lefse?”

9. 1st Norwegian: My brother’s got a case of hemorrhoids.
2nd Norwegian: Swell. Let’s go over and help him drink it!

10. Two Norwegian brothers kept their two horses in a pasture. To tell them apart, they notched the ears on one horse. Later they discovered the black horse was about 8 inches shorter than the white one.


luckydevilgirlyshow said...

Robert wants to know if you know that copper wire was invented by two norwegians fighting over a penny... Or if you had ever heard of the norwegian car? Can stop on a dime and pick it up.
And your sarcastic statement about norwegians liking those jokes was right on. Laguna didn't crack a smile during any of them!!! Not event he last, which I thought was a LAUGH RIOT!!!

Anonymous said...

I love your norwegian jokes. the one with the lefse is the best one. I'll give you new one since I am a norwegian viking.
Two norwegian men eating traditional norwegian food, (kløbb å dopp) it can remind you about bisquits and gravy. round things in a gravy. anyway.
1st norwegian: oh my, I think I've had at least ten kløbb! how many have you eaten?
2nd norwegian: I have no idea, but I'm sitting on the first one.